My downfall is that in my prior life, prior to becoming a teacher that is, I was a hair stylist. Thirteen years, on and off. Went to cosmetology school right out of high school and completed the program a month early...dedicated, motivated, excited to do something I had always dreamed of doing. But near the end of the program I learned that I was highly allergic to perm solution...Superiors, this was the late 80's, white women could not function without their curls, and therefore a stylist would not be able to make a living without cranking out some curls.
What to do, what to do? Hair, my friends, I did hair. I worked and my hands turned into minced meat, despite the bizarre and ineffective help from the dermatologist - cotton gloves, soaked in ice water with Alpha-Keri bath oils. Yes, true story, multiple times a day when I wasn't working. But I had a car payment and a small student loan to repay, so work it was. And what do hairstylists without a wee bit of time on their hands (no pun intended)? Each other's hair, of course! I'll give you a brief recount of some of the really bad fiascos, just to prove that I really don't learn from bad experiences....
First hair fiasco occurred in beauty school: my cute little wedge haircut took on a very masculine transformation within the first month of school. I freaked, I cried, and everybody was pissed with ME because I'd hurt my friend's (who apparently did not hold my hair at the proper angle to keep the weight line, i.e. fullness, in the back) feelings. Umm, wasn't I the one walking around looking like I should be wearing a pressed oxford shirt, jeans and Tretorn tennis shoes? Just in case that reference is lost in translation...the hair cut made me look like I liked chicks and although I support gay rights, I wasn't playing for that team, if you get my drift.
Second hair fiasco, post-beauty school - blonde (read: WHITE) highlights...yes, it was bad, I am PALE with freckles & greyish blue eyes, red or gold highlights work, NOT extreme blonde, i.e. white. I walked into the house and my mom was on the phone and I remember her saying, 'I think my daughter is blonde, I'll call you right back.' It lasted a day and the only thing that covers yucky, mucky ashy blonde hair is RED...and I've been rocking various shades of red, on & off, for over 20 years now. Proof that mistakes can open doors, right? No worries, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Numerous, bad haircuts, perms and some wee bit wacky color issues. But nothing really topped the time I had my hair straightened. I know, silly white girl, you already have straight hair, is exactly what you are thinking. Well, I had impulsively had my hair permed and after going to a workshop where we learned how to cut the latest version of the shag haircut (the infamous "Rachel" from the TV show "Friends") I just HAD to have straight hair. Lisa, an African-American stylist who worked part time in our little salon, volunteered to straighten my hair...a simple run through with perm solution does the trick.
Well, we all know that there are major differences between Caucasian hair and Black hair...so the fact that she combed the solution threw my hair with the same pressure and intensity that you would an African-American's hair...and while my hair was considerably unattractive in it's permed state, there was no "nap" to cut through. Which is why I had difficulty getting my hair OFF OF MY scalp for the first two weeks...no volume, no lift at the root, just flat ass straight hair stuck to my head. Be careful what you wish for, right? But wait, it gets better...two months afterwards I feel this bizarre little stubble in the crown of my head - yep, my hair had broken off, at the root, and was now growing back in...it didn't take long to me a little crew cut going at the crown of my head, kind of like natural texturizing to give me lift. Again, my story...
Which leads me to yesterday's haircut experience...it really should have taken minutes because I'd already cut the majority myself and only needed her help blending in the back. I wanted no major changes, just blending so that when I styled my hair I didn't look like I was working two different looks. So why did I leave with hair that was not only shorter in ALL areas, but I have HOLES, more like gaps but they feel like cavernous holes that cannot be filled without major work!! As she wrapped up the experience, her departing words were: I blended the back and texturized a bit. Hmm, A BIT!! $20 to walk away with holes in my head and a grandma hairdo to boot...
The moral to my story: Thank goodness for cute headbands.
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