Sunday, April 27, 2014

Oops, I Think I Made a Mistake...

Happy Sunday and hello to the eve of the work week.  I have had a wonderful week filled with family and relaxation - both over due and just what the proverbial doctor ordered!  And during this time of peace and tranquility (with a wee bit of retail therapy) I've been able to think, re-think, and come to a conclusion that has been difficult to admit but necessary...for the sake of my sanity.  Don't get me wrong, I embrace my inner crazy (normal is boring, in my honest opinion), but not to the point where my inner crazy becomes an all encompassing, full-time ready for the loony bin crazy.  We all have limits.

First of all, the first step in handling a problem is admitting that you actually have a problem - and obviously I do have a wee bit of a problem.  I am the type of person that embraces change, especially when it comes to professional growth...and moving, I love to move to new places...but that's not what we're talking about here.  Now when I say I embrace change, I'm not talking about tiny little changes like tasting new foods (not too daring in this department) or trying out a new haircut (too daring in this department).  We're talking whoppers, huge changes that have lasting effects on not only myself, but my family as well. I mean, what the hell, go big or go home, right?

So, in the last post I mentioned my new job, media coordinator.  Now THAT has been a change, a change that has certainly affected myself & my poor family.  Poor family?  Yes, my poor family are always subjected to my schemes.  In retrospect I should have been a  lawyer (or a sales person, but the former sounds more lucrative) because I can plead my case, no matter how foolish or spontaneous it may be, swaying my audience (family and close friends) to go along with my whackadoo ideas & opinions.  I am grateful that they believe in me enough to support me but I'm thinking that maybe I need to tone down my enthusiasm a bit and let them truly give me their opinion.  After sharing my "hard sell" tactic, I always ask "What do you think?" and they usually respond with 'sounds great' or 'you'll be great at whatever you do.' have I never noticed that they always tell me what I WANT to hear?!  Wow, I am slow on the draw - I have become one of those people where others tell me what I want to hear so I will SHUT UP!!  (head in hands, shaking my head).

D says that I suffer from "the grass is always greener" syndrome - see new fabulous vocabulary word below as it totally describes my true issue, just saying.  But before I explain his theory, let me clarify one thing: my "changes" are always work related.  I love dear D and my girls and really work diligently to make sure that my schemes are really only going to affect me...but I'm not always so successful with that since I can be a touch dramatic...not Academy Award winning dramatic, but enough where my emotions can  cause my family to ask "Have you taken your happy pill?" or "Could you take another?"  So, when I came home saying "Hey, our school needs a new media coordinator and I think I would LOVE that job," they didn't know what to say except 'okay (mom/honey), you'd be a great librarian.'  No questions, no "are you sure?"

Long story short: I interview, I'm offered the job (with a pay cut that I minimize because I just know that I'm going to LOVE this job), I take the job...and now, fifteen days later I'm like 'WOW, this is so not me."  What?!  Yes, you read that correctly, I am not digging the new job and have formally asked to go back to the classroom.  A big ol' slice of humble pie, sliced, served and EATEN my friends.  I'm not sure if it's my age (read: wisdom) or the fact that I truly dislike the job, but I am totally comfortable with changing my mind, i.e. admitting that I was wrong.  But in my favor, I've held a job of some sort for the past 28 years, and in that time period I've only had two other jobs that I office clerk for a maritime law lawyer (HORRIBLE) and an assembly line worker in the "clean room" of a factory that packaged the toys for cereal boxes (monotonous but fun co-workers).  So, my friends, life is too short to not do something that you are passionate about and I am passionate about teaching.  Bam, simple as that...


  1. Life is about living. Taking risks and trying new things are part of that. So live your life...and enjoy living!!!

  2. Thank you;-) I don't regret one bit of this attempted change. If I hadn't done it I'd always wonder what it would be like to work in the library - I LOVE to read, I LOVE to get others excited about reading, so I figured that would be the natural progression...not so. About five years ago, I contemplated getting my Master's degree as a Media Specialist but the jobs are so few and far between (one per building) it didn't seem worth it.