First of all, the first step in handling a problem is admitting that you actually have a problem - and obviously I do have a wee bit of a problem. I am the type of person that embraces change, especially when it comes to professional growth...and moving, I love to move to new places...but that's not what we're talking about here. Now when I say I embrace change, I'm not talking about tiny little changes like tasting new foods (not too daring in this department) or trying out a new haircut (too daring in this department). We're talking whoppers, huge changes that have lasting effects on not only myself, but my family as well. I mean, what the hell, go big or go home, right?
So, in the last post I mentioned my new job, media coordinator. Now THAT has been a change, a change that has certainly affected myself & my poor family. Poor family? Yes, my poor family are always subjected to my schemes. In retrospect I should have been a lawyer (or a sales person, but the former sounds more lucrative) because I can plead my case, no matter how foolish or spontaneous it may be, swaying my audience (family and close friends) to go along with my whackadoo ideas & opinions. I am grateful that they believe in me enough to support me but I'm thinking that maybe I need to tone down my enthusiasm a bit and let them truly give me their opinion. After sharing my "hard sell" tactic, I always ask "What do you think?" and they usually respond with 'sounds great' or 'you'll be great at whatever you do.' Hmm...how have I never noticed that they always tell me what I WANT to hear?! Wow, I am slow on the draw - I have become one of those people where others tell me what I want to hear so I will SHUT UP!! (head in hands, shaking my head).
D says that I suffer from "the grass is always greener" syndrome - see new fabulous vocabulary word below as it totally describes my true issue, just saying. But before I explain his theory, let me clarify one thing: my "changes" are always work related. I love dear D and my girls and really work diligently to make sure that my schemes are really only going to affect me...but I'm not always so successful with that since I can be a touch dramatic...not Academy Award winning dramatic, but enough where my emotions can cause my family to ask "Have you taken your happy pill?" or "Could you take another?" So, when I came home saying "Hey, our school needs a new media coordinator and I think I would LOVE that job," they didn't know what to say except 'okay (mom/honey), you'd be a great librarian.' No questions, no "are you sure?"
Long story short: I interview, I'm offered the job (with a pay cut that I minimize because I just know that I'm going to LOVE this job), I take the job...and now, fifteen days later I'm like 'WOW, this is so not me." What?! Yes, you read that correctly, I am not digging the new job and have formally asked to go back to the classroom. A big ol' slice of humble pie, sliced, served and EATEN my friends. I'm not sure if it's my age (read: wisdom) or the fact that I truly dislike the job, but I am totally comfortable with changing my mind, i.e. admitting that I was wrong. But in my favor, I've held a job of some sort for the past 28 years, and in that time period I've only had two other jobs that I despised...an office clerk for a maritime law lawyer (HORRIBLE) and an assembly line worker in the "clean room" of a factory that packaged the toys for cereal boxes (monotonous but fun co-workers). So, my friends, life is too short to not do something that you are passionate about and I am passionate about teaching. Bam, simple as that...